omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
