Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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