do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
