I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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