remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
