If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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