is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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