imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
