Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
