Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
