we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
