is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
