he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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