i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize