There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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