saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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