"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize