So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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