all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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