We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
there is glitter all over my balls
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