I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
