Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think people are normalizing furries
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
