p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
