people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
