Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
