Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
