adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
