How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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