dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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