did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
