What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
