i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
