I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
