She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
