White coat. Heels.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
