not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
