No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
