hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
