Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
