I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize