A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
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As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
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There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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