big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
