Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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