I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Rumble strips road head = magical
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
