the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
we should paint friendship bongs
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