So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
