the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
