some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize