The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
