ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
