Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
