I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
