You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
