I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
