and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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