I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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