We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
