woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
