That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
