Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
