one might say we're banned from that church
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize