I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He better not be in your backpack
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
