Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
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he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
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Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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