Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
