is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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