He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
